The swine flu/ebolla/rabies is still going strong. I took my only sick day yesterday and my husband was an asshole all day and wouldn't let me sleep. He kept running in and out of the house, making the dogs bark like hell and waking me up. I asked him not to, but he doesn't listen to me. Because he is an asshole.
He picked Lu up early (another asshole move) and she decided to act like an asshole also. Turning the light on, waking me up to ask me where the water is (the water, for fuck's sake, is in the faucet where it always is) and just overall bothering the bejesus out of me.
I am very cranky when I'm sick, but not if I'm left alone. Here are some examples of why I was as mean as a stepped on rattlesnake last night. Each one of these times he woke me up to say this shit.
Dickhead Todd: Are you hungry? I'm hungry, why don't you get up and fix us something to eat.
Dickhead Todd: I need a haircut sometime tonight.
Dickhead Todd: You asleep?
Dickhead Todd: You awake? You still sick?
Dickhead Todd: That laundry isn't going to do itself, you know!
Let's not forget when he started the weed eater in front of the open bedroom window. He just wanted to "see if it worked". That is the kind of dickery he pulls. After that I told him that if I had the strength to pick up a ball bat I would hit him with it. He acted like he had NO idea why I should be mad.
I can't wait until he is sick. I'm going to start a one woman band with pots and pans, harmonica, drums, bells and a pitch pipe. I'll play it all night long, like Lionel Richie, baby.
Thursday, March 15, 2012
Monday, March 12, 2012
Assholes. Plus I have the swine flu probably.
Obviously I made it back from St.Louis, miracle of miracles. I made it back to a house in which everyone was sick. Everyone being Lu and my hubby. They have the real flu, I suppose. Fever, weak, cranky, etc. I was up each night all night because I was afraid Lu would get too hot, she also needed medicine. Every cough I was up. So I got zero sleep, which makes me a very cranky individual.
Saturday morning Todd and Lu were asleep, both with fevers and lo and behold people keep coming over to our house. It aggravates me so bad when people come over without calling. I don't care who it is, you text or call to give advance warning. It's called manners!
Every time one of Todd's stupid friends would pull in the driveway our noisy little ankle-biting toy poodles would go nuts and wake Lu up. She would start whining and crying and I would be mad as hell. Three different sets of people showed up before noon on Saturday. Before noon!
If people weren't rudely showing up to my house they were calling. I turned the ringers off so that we could sleep. Since we didn't answer the phone people would come knocking on the door saying "I called, but you didn't answer." No shit, sherlock. Perhaps there was a reason? That reason was I didn't want to see any one's face this weekend.
Yesterday same thing, some people showed up at 9:30am! Since time changed that was actually 8:30am. Do me a favor so that you aren't a total asshole. Don't just show up at people's houses. If they don't answer the phone, don't go over. It is so fucking rude. I hate it. Biggest pet peeve of mine hands down. Someone thinking they can just show the fuck up whenever they want. Reasons why:
1.) I have to scramble and put pants on. Asshole.
2.) I don't want to see your asshole face or I would have called and asked you to come over.
3.) You might wake me up. Asshole. Or worse, wake Lu up.
I am really weak and shaky today, no appetite, headache. I think I have caught the swine flu from them. I didn't have a fever when I left for work but now I'm pretty sure you can fry an egg on my head. I'm not going home, because it takes me an hour to get to work and I'm already here. Plus Todd and Lu are still home today both sick and I'm sick of them being sick and acting like assholes.
Saturday morning Todd and Lu were asleep, both with fevers and lo and behold people keep coming over to our house. It aggravates me so bad when people come over without calling. I don't care who it is, you text or call to give advance warning. It's called manners!
Every time one of Todd's stupid friends would pull in the driveway our noisy little ankle-biting toy poodles would go nuts and wake Lu up. She would start whining and crying and I would be mad as hell. Three different sets of people showed up before noon on Saturday. Before noon!
If people weren't rudely showing up to my house they were calling. I turned the ringers off so that we could sleep. Since we didn't answer the phone people would come knocking on the door saying "I called, but you didn't answer." No shit, sherlock. Perhaps there was a reason? That reason was I didn't want to see any one's face this weekend.
Yesterday same thing, some people showed up at 9:30am! Since time changed that was actually 8:30am. Do me a favor so that you aren't a total asshole. Don't just show up at people's houses. If they don't answer the phone, don't go over. It is so fucking rude. I hate it. Biggest pet peeve of mine hands down. Someone thinking they can just show the fuck up whenever they want. Reasons why:
1.) I have to scramble and put pants on. Asshole.
2.) I don't want to see your asshole face or I would have called and asked you to come over.
3.) You might wake me up. Asshole. Or worse, wake Lu up.
I am really weak and shaky today, no appetite, headache. I think I have caught the swine flu from them. I didn't have a fever when I left for work but now I'm pretty sure you can fry an egg on my head. I'm not going home, because it takes me an hour to get to work and I'm already here. Plus Todd and Lu are still home today both sick and I'm sick of them being sick and acting like assholes.
Friday, March 9, 2012
I get carjacked by a crackhead and no one cares.
I'm taking my cousin Amber to StL airport tonight to pick up a "friend". She was in a mood this morning so I haven't yet given her my sexy rendition of her song...Amber and friend sitting in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G! Also she probably would have punched me. I hope she gets some this weekend and it puts her in a good mood. Because HELLO AMBER, the only one who reads my blog, bitch, you need to cheer up. P.S. I <3 you!
Anyhoo I figure we will be killed. Something about me makes animals/people/objects want to attack. I think it is because they sense my epic awesomeness and know that they can never compare. This sends them into a spiral of self hatred they can't cope with. So they take out their lack of awesomeness on me. I'm used to it, I just bat my eyelashes and tell them they can't join my fan club. They can however join the "I hate Sondra" club, there are many card carrying members. They meet on Tuesday nights at the VFW. I sit in the parking lot drinking beer and flipping them the bird.
I should have brought one of Todd's many, many guns. These are the reasons I did not.
1. Scared to ask him. He would have been all "You would shoot someone!".
2. I would shoot someone.
3. I would be arrested for shooting someone. I'm too pretty for prison. Also, I'm a redhead and an orange jumpsuit would look terrible on me.
4. Someone has to raise my child, and that someone is going to be me. Her Dad raises her she will be a mess. Farting the tune to I'm sexy and I know it at the dinner table to entertain people. I shudder at the thought.
I received several big lectures last night from my husband, aka Debbie-Downer, or "You aren't my Dad you jackass." About me not drinking in StL because I would get a DWI on the way home, or wreck and kill people. No shit, sherlock. Instead of telling him I'm not fucking stupid I just smiled and said "Okay, honey. Thanks for caring!". I'm trying this new thing where I'm nice to him.
Instead of saying "Damnit! Why can't you put your fucking dishes in the fucking dishwasher!" I just smile and put the dishes in the dishwasher. Give me a month, I will explode and climb the town water tower with a high powered rifle.
So he was all "blah blah blah, really late when you get home, blah blah blah, if you come home drunk Sondra I swear to God!" I've told him if he would just talk about something interesting I wouldn't tune him out, he didn't so I don't remember the rest. He will probably call me one million times because he can't stand being without me. Being his Goddess is a hard job, and face it...I'm the only woman who can do it.
Well, if you don't ever hear from me again know that I think of each and every one of you fondly, except my co-workers. Those bitches can each fall down the stairs and knock out their two front teeth for all I care.
Anyhoo I figure we will be killed. Something about me makes animals/people/objects want to attack. I think it is because they sense my epic awesomeness and know that they can never compare. This sends them into a spiral of self hatred they can't cope with. So they take out their lack of awesomeness on me. I'm used to it, I just bat my eyelashes and tell them they can't join my fan club. They can however join the "I hate Sondra" club, there are many card carrying members. They meet on Tuesday nights at the VFW. I sit in the parking lot drinking beer and flipping them the bird.
I should have brought one of Todd's many, many guns. These are the reasons I did not.
1. Scared to ask him. He would have been all "You would shoot someone!".
2. I would shoot someone.
3. I would be arrested for shooting someone. I'm too pretty for prison. Also, I'm a redhead and an orange jumpsuit would look terrible on me.
4. Someone has to raise my child, and that someone is going to be me. Her Dad raises her she will be a mess. Farting the tune to I'm sexy and I know it at the dinner table to entertain people. I shudder at the thought.
I received several big lectures last night from my husband, aka Debbie-Downer, or "You aren't my Dad you jackass." About me not drinking in StL because I would get a DWI on the way home, or wreck and kill people. No shit, sherlock. Instead of telling him I'm not fucking stupid I just smiled and said "Okay, honey. Thanks for caring!". I'm trying this new thing where I'm nice to him.
Instead of saying "Damnit! Why can't you put your fucking dishes in the fucking dishwasher!" I just smile and put the dishes in the dishwasher. Give me a month, I will explode and climb the town water tower with a high powered rifle.
So he was all "blah blah blah, really late when you get home, blah blah blah, if you come home drunk Sondra I swear to God!" I've told him if he would just talk about something interesting I wouldn't tune him out, he didn't so I don't remember the rest. He will probably call me one million times because he can't stand being without me. Being his Goddess is a hard job, and face it...I'm the only woman who can do it.
Well, if you don't ever hear from me again know that I think of each and every one of you fondly, except my co-workers. Those bitches can each fall down the stairs and knock out their two front teeth for all I care.
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